Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone!

I hope you enjoy yourself and have fun!

Baking :)

Last night I watched Julie and Julia. Great movie. While watching it I was inspired. Though I would never do what the character in the book did, mainly because although I can cook, pretty well as long as I have the recipe, I still freak out when I have more than two things going at the same time. I did decide I wanted to bake a bunch of cookies, plus pretzels.

My plan was to get up at 10:30, start my laundry and start baking...
Too bad I woke up at 8:30 and our power was out! Expected time to come back on was 11 so I went back to bed. At 11 it still wasn't on. New time was 1. So I stayed in bed since I couldn't bake and it was getting increasingly colder in our apartment and my bed was warm. By 12:30 I couldn't stay in bed anymore, so I decided to play Sims....which ended up dying an hour later :( At 1:30 the time our power was expected to be on was 3... so I called my friend Kaitlyn to let her know she didn't have to bring the two things I had asked her to bring me so I could bake a pumpkin pie.
She offered to come get me since I was cold. She also bought me white castle since I hadn't eaten because we had nothing in the house that didn't need cooking.
Around 5 Kaitlyn's power went out... My friend Ed had power so I hoped I had my power back. So she drove me home. We STILL didn't have power. So my mom and I were going to stay over at her boyfriend's mom's house since they had power. We went out to dinner first, since we couldn't cook. At 6:30 our power was FINALLY back on.

So then I started baking.
First I made my pretzels. Turned out GREAT!

Next I made snowball cookies. They taste good, but they don't look very good :( Next time I'm going to wait longer to cover with powered sugar. The recipe said to wait a minute, but they kept falling apart :(

For tomorrow I'm making pecan pie bars, pumpkin pie, chocolate chips cookies, peanut butter cookies, peanut blossoms (peanut butter cookies with a Hersey kiss in the middle) and snickerdoodles :)

However...now I have a mess to clean up

I should probably get cleaning!

And now for a secret:

 

 

Suddenly things are going my way...

Housing denied me. Last night was a very bad night for me. I have not cried that long, that hard in a very long time. Course I probably should have read the rest of the email before bursting into tears but that on top of everything that had happened the night/morning before just....yeah.

They suggest I try the CAP program, which oddly enough I tried to do the first time around! Stupid starbucks. Anyways, I have to call the manager of the Eateries. I suppose if they deny me as well then I'll appeal, but seeing how I actually want to stay here, let's hope they still have spots left....hopefully at the smoothie place cause I REALLY want to work there....lol
The only downside is I might have to move into Wise hall... :( But it says people who are on the CAP program can live in other halls, they just would have to pay the rest of it. So I'm going to ask if maybe I could just work extra hours??? or I'm going to ask my mom if she can co-sign on a small loan.

Matt came back. He emailed me on my emich account, the one email I actually check like five times a day. I let him come back. He was going to visit. Holly, wanting to make sure I was making the right choice, texted him asking him lots of questions. He told her yes, he was using me. Which caused me to run up the stairs so I could reach my room and collapse on the floor so I could cry. After I calmed down, I started to pack and I told him to cut the crap because I knew he wasn't coming. He told me Holly said he should rot in hell. and that she said he should leave my life and never talk to me again. I figured it was just because I had ran upstairs in tears, but when Holly got up there she showed me the message that caused her to say what she said. She asked if he actually even cared about me and his reply was No, not really....not as a friend (I believe is what it said, but when I saw the no I started crying) I kind of already knew that he was using me, we had talked about it before, that we were using each other....but I always thought that he cared....at least some bit...but I guess I was wrong.


That same night Holly and I got in a huge fight. I'm not going to talk about here. But things are better now (I believe anyways) We exchanged some words last night... Actually I'm surprised an RA didn't knock on my door to tell us to quiet down since it's 24 hour quiet hours currently and I know we were yelling at some points.

My dad is getting me someone to talk to.... he asked me if I needed someone and at first I said no and then I changed my mind and told him that I did want to talk to someone but that I didn't know who. So we're going to get that taken care of once I go home.

Time sucks

Time is moving too fast. But at the same time it's moving too slow. Makes no sense right?
This semester is nearly done. I have a week left. Not even because I have one more class today, and then classes don't meet on Monday and Tuesday next week. So basically I have two more days of classes. Holy crap. I want this semester to end, but at the same time I really REALLY don't want it to. I am not ready to go home. I don't want to at all. I like it here, in fact I love it here, and I'm sad to lose that.

At the same time it's moving slowly.
For those of you who are my facebook friends,(which is probably all of you....lol) On November 21st I decided it was time I moved on from Matt. (course this was the third time THIS semester, but we'll ignore that) Since then, it's been hard. Everyday is a struggle for me. And I hate it. I hate the struggle and the way that I feel most of the time. But at the same time I love it, because it's making me who I am, and each day that I succeed by not talking to him or looking at his web pages is an accomplishment and is bringing me one step closer to finally being over him.  I wish it was easier...mostly because I hate the constant fear I live in. I'm doing good, it's been two weeks, nearly three. But I'm terrified he's going to contact me and that I won't be strong enough to tell him to go away. I hate getting new facebook messages, because I'm constantly scared that it's him. But I'm dealing. I know a lot of people say its bad to count the days, or weeks since something, especially when that something is getting over someone, but I feel like it helps me. Each day that I succeed is me completing a goal. I feel that by keeping track of it pushes me forward and helps me keep going at this.

In other news, I hate winter. I hate snow and cold. The only part of winter I like is Christmas and that's cause, well it's Christmas, and also my birthday.

Now for a secret:

I'm sorry

I suck at continually keeping something updated.
I've been busy and so I guess blogging just hasn't been the first thing on my mind. I guess it's a good thing I have no followers....

The postsecret event on Friday was great. Just what I expected. I didn't bring my camera because I knew they weren't allowed during the event, and I figured if I got a chance at photo my mom would have hers. Too bad the people at the Michigan theater didn't like the idea of him talking and socializing with every person in line. The whole thing was so impersonal and the only way I would have gotten my picture is if we had waited longer, but my mom was tired and had about an hour drive back with dropping me off and so we didn't.

I did however get his autograph!

The whole thing was great and I'm glad I got to go to it.

Yesterday I turned in my letter to housing requesting to break my contract. Now I just have to wait for them to email me with their decision. Jeremiah( the person I went to for all of this... he's idk what he is honestly) said it should take about a week, meaning I would get my answer next Tuesday. Even though on the paper it said all decisions were final he said he's never heard of not being able to try again. I hope it doesn't come to that. I'm not sure what other documentation to supply. I had both my parents write a letter. Then I had them rewrite them because well they sucked. My dad claimed his financial problems were not my school's business at which I told him it was because they don't exactly like it when people break their contracts. Imagine that. So I guess we'll see how that goes.

And now I've decided at the end of every post I'm going to post one secret that I have saved on my laptop.

Next semester

I took a little break from blogging, not intentionally, school work and figuring out what will happen next semester got in the way.
As it turns out I have to write a letter to housing explaining why I am no longer able to live on campus. I have to provide proof of my reasons and submit enough reasons as to why I cannot live there. They can deny me. Apparently they do deny people. I'm not really sure what happens if you get denied...
If I could live here I would, but I don't even have a choice in the matter.

I also don't know where I'm living next semester. I did say my moms, but my dad and I made up so I was going to live there because I have my own room, tivo, wireless internet, and free laundry. But he said we had to talk about it beforehand. I dunno.

My friend Ed can finally drive again....but now his breaks are acting up and the break light came on. We don't want to take a chance of me driving it and the breaks completely stop working causing me to crash. So I don't know if I will get my license by Christmas. My friend Jerry offered to take me driving when I wanted, but he drives an SUV/Truck thingy and I'm not sure I like that. I hate driving in my dad's because the truck is so huge and I was a lot more at ease in my mom's boyfriend's car.
That was a lot of fun. I was a little nervous at first, mostly because it's been awhile since I got to drive. But after going around my high school's parking lot a couple times we went out on the road. Ron said I did very well :D

In two days I'm going to a Postsecret event!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am beyond excited. I've wanted to go to one since I discovered Postsecret. Haha, I was pissed for awhile because I discovered it about a month after he had come and done event at Eastern.

Speaking of Postsecret, I took the secrets off my door. I had nothing really to do, so I figured then was a good time, seeing as I only have 2 and a half weeks left here.... My door is so empty now, I hate it... :(
That's it for now :)

Sick....

I'm getting sick. I blame the people I went to Florida with since two of them were sick :-P Thanks.
In one month I will be living at home again. I really wish I didn't have to. But I don't have a choice. It's throwing everything off. My plan for next year was to become an RA (or at least apply for it and hope for the best) as they get free room and board meaning I wouldn't run into this crap next year.
But now I can't. To apply to be an RA you have to live on campus for a whole year. Makes sense, and I figured this would be the rule, but I was hoping it wasn't and I could apply. But now I can apply for the Disney College Program come April and hopefully get into that...

I'm also sick and tired of immature college students who feel it is okay to take down secrets from my door. Someone took one down last night. I heard someone at the door....I wish now I had opened it, but I was hoping it was someone leaving a secret, not taking one. Once I realized it was gone, I looked up and down my hallway, hoping like the other times it would only be a couple feet away. It wasn't. I don't know where it went, but it's gone.

I guess that's just one more advantage of going back home. No more immature college student ruining something I worked hard on. I had plan to leave it up, but it looks like Alanna is leaving next semester as well. I'm not sure what to do with the secrets yet. Perhaps I'll throw away the ones from the website and keep the ones people gave me. I'm not sure.

How do you deal with immature people?

Things are getting there...

Last night after realizing that I absolutely had to change my schedule around because there would be no other way for me to get to school without Ryan, I struggled hard with what classes I wanted to take now. Sadly I had to drop my Intro to Creative Writing class. There were no other earlier openings that would fit Ryan's schedule, I have never been so sad to drop a class. Next I had to drop my Fundamentals of Speech class, and I was definitely not sadden by this, seeing as I only took the class because it's a gen. ed requirement and I wanted to get it out of the way. This dropped me down to 9 credits. I need 12 to stay on my fin. aid stuff. So I went searching through my list of classes I need for the next class to take. Now I'm taking Romantic Rebellion in Britain 1798-1832. Sounds like fun right?? I tried really hard to find one more class to take so I could keep my credits at 15, but no such luck. Lots of classes have already been completely filled up, or the spots open are not in the time slot that I need them to be.
I plan to get my license by Christmas. My permit expires December 28th, giving me almost exactly 30 days that I can practice. I'm not stupid and I know I can learn it. My friend Ed can drive again either on Thursday or on the 27th (I'm hoping Thursday but then he needs to get his car fixed so...) He already told me he would take me driving and when I pointed out to him that I would need to go driving absolutely every single day he said he knew and that we would. Of course, now that I'm living at home... I don't know. Perhaps we will go after my classes.
After I get my license however, I still will not have a car. I'm hoping I can find one for around 700-800 dollars. So if you know anyone who wants to sell their car for that price, let me know :)
With my new class schedule and not being able to find another class, it actually works out. I'm also on Federal work study, meaning I need to have a job on campus to keep that. Now, I don't actually need the work study next semester due to the fact the price of me going here is going to go down tons since I won't be living on campus. Originally I figured I would have to quit the job, because there would be no way that I could take 15 credit hours and work in the time frame of 11-3:30. But now I can keep it :) I'm going to be applying to the Krogers in Westland (once I figured out the address of my old work...) so that I have a good income (sorta) that I can save, and perhaps get a store credit card somewhere so I can build up a credit score so I won't run into this problem again.
I have a month left of living here on campus. I wish I had more. I really wish I didn't have to leave because I love living on campus. It's one of the reasons I chose to live here on campus even though I only live 30 minutes from campus. That and I didn't want to be at home anymore. I was sick of being at home. And now I'm losing that again.   I'm going to have to try very hard to be positive about this, and I've come up with some reasons as to why it's a good thing. 1. I'm going to have an oven, and a stove. Meaning if I suddenly want to bake something in the middle of the night I can. 2. I will no longer have to hear people above me/somewhere in the dorm (I'll explain that next) having constant sex. 3. I will have a TV! 4. I'll get home cooked meals again. So far that's all I've come up with.
On to the people who like to have sex. For the whole semester Holly and I have been hearing sex noises. In her room, the bathroom and sometimes in my room. It's annoying. It's distracting and it's literally every single day five time a day. (Not joking...wish I was) For the longest time we assumed it was the people in 217, as that is directly above Holly and made the most sense. Turns out, it's not. Last night they were going at it again and we decided to go tell the RA on duty, she didn't want to go break up sex so we went to an RA on the second floor. He knocked on there door, saying he was pretty sure it wasn't them. It completely wasn't. It may in fact be someone on OUR floor, and the sounds are coming through the vents. Wait...what??? Even though it sounds like it's directly above us it's not and the next time we hear sex noises we plan to go search out who in our floor is having sex all the fricken time.

In other news, my sunburn hurts really bad, and I have a paper to write. Actually I have two. I always put off things when I shouldn't, how about you?

Owww

Sorry for not posting. I didn't have time Thursday and then Friday morning to last night I was on vacation in Florida.
I stupidly forgot my own camera and have to wait until I'm home again to upload the pictures from my mom's camera. Not very many, and none of the tree house that we stayed in because I left my camera in the car after the first day. Yes, I'm kicking myself.
Florida was fun expect for the fact that I got burnt real badly. So I'm in pain a lot right now. It hurts to move.

After much talk it has been decided I will still be attending Eastern but I will be living at home.
I plan on living at my mom's. I really do not want to see my dad. Maybe I'm being immature, but I firmly believe that you shouldn't promise your child something and then take it away. I get it times are rough, but I'm not asking him to take a loan on himself, I'm only asking him to co-sign on something I will absolutely pay back.

So now I have a problem. My friend Ryan told me he would drive me to school because he also attends Eastern. His classes are from 11-3:30. Monday-Thursday. I desperately want to have 15 credit hours because I didn't this semester, but I can't take on 15 credit hours AND work for my work study in that time. I could do 12, but I still don't think it's possible for 12 credit hours and work. I don't know what to do. Any ideas?

Sick

So I planned on writing a thought out piece about rumors, people twisting your words and how not telling someone when you have a problem with them and they find out hurt. Really I was.
But I don't feel good. I feel like crap. I'm super tired. And I'm so dizzy. I don't know why. I wish I could sleep. But I'm at work :( So sorry for the crappy post.

My door

So here at college many people decorate their doors, generally with small things that represent who they are. Most are very simple and only take up a small area of the door. Not mine. I absolutely love the postsecret project. ("www.postsecret.com") Since finding out about it I have shared many secrets with strangers, and have had many secrets shared with me.
I have about 2,500 secrets saved my laptop. So I decided that I wanted to decorate my door with these postsecrets. So I went out and bought markers, index cards and two-sided tape. I picked out secrets that were shocking, funny, sad, and made sense to a reader without the picture that is on the postcard. I kept to my side of the door until Alanna told me I could decorate the whole door. Yay! About two days I had half the door covered. Then the weekend came so I had a lot of free time and really focused on getting the door completely covered. I was about a third of the way down when a girl asked me what I was doing. I told that these were secrets people had sent into someone and how he posts them on a website. She then asked me if she could post a secret on my door. Shocked I answered if she wanted.
I was so amazed that people actually wanted to share secrets on a door. So I moved the secrets around and created a space in the middle for people to share.

This is the top half of the door

 Middle of the door

This the bottom half of the door. The space with no secrets is because the way both Alanna and I open the door our feet kept hitting them and messing them up so I removed them all together.

This is my message to immature college students after getting some secrets written on or torn down.

These are secrets people have posted. At first I had one or two, and then suddenly more and more. And all of them are true heart-wrenching secrets. (Most of them...my friends like to put funny ones up) I was surprised at the fact people actually posted such sad secrets on the door.

This is one of the first things I put up on my door because I thought it was a great way of describing what postsecret is.

So that is my door.

Do you have a secret to share?

Money Issues

As some of my friends may know, there is a possibility of me not attending Eastern in the winter. I desperately hope this doesn't happen because I would hate to 1) have to live at home again 2) Get behind a whole semester and 3) Be miserable because I wasn't at school doing what I want to do in life.
The reason for this possibility is because I am currently 4,500 dollars for next semester. Originally, I was 2,250 short per semester because neither one of my parents could take on the parent loan. My father told me he would co-sign on a loan for me for winter semester, so I called Eastern's financial aid and explained my situation and they happily transferred over enough funds from my loans into the fall semester so I could attend. Now, it's November, and winter semester is fast approaching. Both my mom and I have been trying to find me a loan that I can take on myself without a co-signer and that won't require me to make payments on the interest while going to school. So far, nothing has come up, expect for one that already denied me, probably because of my lack of credit history.

I called my father to get on him about co-signing for me as he said he would. He's now refusing to do what he told me he would. After many words, mostly cruel on my part, I told him he had just ruined my life.
Now, perhaps I was being a bit dramatic because I can always go home, get a job and save up for the upcoming years of college. The thing is I don't want to do that. I don't want to go home and then basically have to start all over next year

Here I am trying to better my life and go to college, and I can't because he won't co-sign and I can't get a loan by myself. He calls my mom selfish, because she will (hopefully) be signing on a house soon, and needs a perfect credit score. Some people will probably agree with him, but I consider her trying to better her life, for herself, and my sister. Both her and I want to have a better life and yet neither one of us can because of him.
As of now, I am unsure what will happen for winter semester, but desperately hope I will still be able to attend Eastern.

New Blog :)

I've finally decided to get a new blog. I've noticed more people have this type of blog so maybe I'll actually get comments haha. The blog will probably be boring though so...
Basically I'll be telling about my 'exciting' college life.
Hope you enjoy!