Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Suddenly things are going my way...

Housing denied me. Last night was a very bad night for me. I have not cried that long, that hard in a very long time. Course I probably should have read the rest of the email before bursting into tears but that on top of everything that had happened the night/morning before just....yeah.

They suggest I try the CAP program, which oddly enough I tried to do the first time around! Stupid starbucks. Anyways, I have to call the manager of the Eateries. I suppose if they deny me as well then I'll appeal, but seeing how I actually want to stay here, let's hope they still have spots left....hopefully at the smoothie place cause I REALLY want to work there....lol
The only downside is I might have to move into Wise hall... :( But it says people who are on the CAP program can live in other halls, they just would have to pay the rest of it. So I'm going to ask if maybe I could just work extra hours??? or I'm going to ask my mom if she can co-sign on a small loan.

Matt came back. He emailed me on my emich account, the one email I actually check like five times a day. I let him come back. He was going to visit. Holly, wanting to make sure I was making the right choice, texted him asking him lots of questions. He told her yes, he was using me. Which caused me to run up the stairs so I could reach my room and collapse on the floor so I could cry. After I calmed down, I started to pack and I told him to cut the crap because I knew he wasn't coming. He told me Holly said he should rot in hell. and that she said he should leave my life and never talk to me again. I figured it was just because I had ran upstairs in tears, but when Holly got up there she showed me the message that caused her to say what she said. She asked if he actually even cared about me and his reply was No, not really....not as a friend (I believe is what it said, but when I saw the no I started crying) I kind of already knew that he was using me, we had talked about it before, that we were using each other....but I always thought that he cared....at least some bit...but I guess I was wrong.

That same night Holly and I got in a huge fight. I'm not going to talk about here. But things are better now (I believe anyways) We exchanged some words last night... Actually I'm surprised an RA didn't knock on my door to tell us to quiet down since it's 24 hour quiet hours currently and I know we were yelling at some points.

My dad is getting me someone to talk to.... he asked me if I needed someone and at first I said no and then I changed my mind and told him that I did want to talk to someone but that I didn't know who. So we're going to get that taken care of once I go home.

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